Bad Reasons Why getting Married

I had read an article on this topic saying about the bad reasons of getting married. It does somehow trigger my mind as i am growing older and older of every each day. Hahaha!! It is kind of funny but anyhow, i am still searching of what exactly life about when we get married and when we don’t get married. Here are they...

You happen to be in las vegas

Although the saying might be, “what happens in vegas, stays in vegas,” unfortunately when it comes to spur-of-the-moment weddings, the after-effects of being legally married travel back home with you. Just ask britney spears.

You want to help a friend get his citizenship

It may sound like a nice thing to do, but marrying a friend (or a stranger) to help him obtain u.s. citizenship has really scary consequences. Even if you don’t get caught and go to jail, if your hubby at any point has to go on welfare, even if it’s 10 years later and you’re divorced, guess who will be in charge of paying his bills? Here’s a clue: it won’t be the government.

All of your friends are getting married

From ages 25 to 30, it seems like everyone on the planet gets married and if you’re still waiting in line to catch your own bouquet, attending countless weddings is not only frustrating, it can make you feel left out. Try to remember though that rhetorical question your grandmother so wisely asked you at a young age: “if everyone decided to jump off a cliff, would you do it too?”

You’re getting close to 30 (or 40, 50, etc.)

The loud ticking of a woman’s biological clock has no doubt influenced many women to get married. However, life is not a game of musical chairs and planning to settling down with someone just because you’re getting older is a recipe for marital disaster.

You want someone to support you

Credit cards, student loans, badly paying entry-level jobs, there are a million reasons for cash flow problems these days. However, rushing into marriage with someone only because he’s financially stable is not a good idea. Just because he’s mr. Moneybags, doesn’t mean he’s not also a jerk.

You’re pregnant

Unexpectedly pregnant can be a scary situation to find yourself in. Luckily, thanks to celebrities, there’s no longer a stigma to raising children without getting married. If you and your partner are not ready, then it’s better to keep dating and not rush into anything while raising your child. What’s most important is that the baby is raised by two loving parents, regardless of whether you’re married or not. After all, getting married prematurely won’t make getting pregnant prematurely any easier.

You’re wacky in love

Being in love is a beautiful thing, don’t get us wrong. However, just because you’re in love doesn’t necessarily mean you have to get married. Besides love, a lot of other factors are important to consider when deciding whether to take that next step. Are you both financially secured? Do you agree on vital life issues, like where to live and whether you want kids or not? Have you been together for more than 9 months? These questions are all important to consider too.

What’s your reason for not getting married? Share your thoughts with everyone in the comment box below.

Building trust in relationship

I received this article from some unknown and this article have given me some ideas on building trust in relationship. As for my experience, I never thought of keeping and owing a true relationship as I really love that person before. Having faith in God is my first choice..

I knew that if I love God, I trust God, and His children, His creation. I love God, yes, but why am I still can’t put all my trust to a person that loved me so much? Does he really love me? Having a lifetime partner is a serious matter that I should think deeply.

Ermm, Is it because of my parent reject my relationship with that guy, and that’s make me keep on guilt in my relationship with him? I guess, and I believe my parent wants the best for me. They just don’t want a banana tree bear fruit for the second time (Malay saying).

……
 

Trust, as we know, is a crucial factor in any relationship. Many relationships have broken up over trust issues. Once violated, trust is very difficult to repair and rebuild, so it has to be guarded carefully and constantly nurtured.

It can be compared to a plant that needs the right soil, water and temperature to flourish and attain full bloom. So too, trust requires the right conditions and environment to sustain a relationship through highs and lows.

If partners trust each other in a relationship, there is no guarantee that it will continue to stay that way. You can never trust enough, nor can you take it for granted. You have to constantly build on it.

What are the barriers to building trust in a relationship?

1. Desire to control

When one partner or the other seeks to control the relationship and wants to achieve the upper hand, it is very difficult to meet on equal ground and establish trust.

If you are not happy in a relationship and constantly seek to change your partner and dictate terms, it is not an environment conducive to building trust. Your partner will withdraw and alienate himself/herself from you.

2. Dishonesty

If you are always trying to hide things from your partner, or lie by omission, or only tell him/her what you think he/she needs to hear, you are not just being dishonest with your partner but you are not being true to yourself either. 

Remember that if you’re doing something wrong that you can’t talk about to your partner, it’s not about hiding it from your partner but whether you can live with it. Whatever you do, have the courage of your convictions and there will never be the need to be dishonest.

3. Self-centeredness

When we focus only on our needs and ourselves, we tend to do things that don’t help the relationship and will probably cause a rift in it. 

If you have selfish motives, it erodes the trust that your partner has placed in you and causes a loss of faith. This in turn hampers the growth of the relationship and causes it to stagnate.

Well, as i have understood this article, the conclusion can be described as ~ in order to build trust in a relationship we have to overcome these barriers and ensure they don’t act as stumbling blocks. In addition, it is important to work on those factors that enhance trust and cement it so that it acts as a cohesive force in a relationship.